“Have to”

“I suggested that [a teacher in one of my workshops] translate her statement ‘I have to give grades because it’s district policy’ to ‘I choose to give grades because I want…’ She answered without hesitation, “I choose to give grades because I want to keep my job,” while hastening to add, “But I don’t like saying it that way. It makes me feel so responsible for what I’m doing.”

“‘That’s why I want you to do it that way,’ I replied.”

-Marshall B. Rosenberg, Nonviolent Communication (p. 21)

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